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11 August 2010 @ 05:58 pm
Crossover - Small Talk between Heroines II, aka Their Best Qualities  
Title: Small Talk between Heroines II, aka Their Best Qualities
Author: clair_de_lune
Fandoms: The Pretender, The Avengers, The West Wing, Prison Break, Boston Legal
Characters: Miss Parker, Mrs. Peel, CJ Cregg, Sara Tancredi, Shirley Schmidt
Category: Gen
Rating: PG
Word Count: ~ 700
Disclaimer: Not mine. Just borrowing them for a while.
Summary: They’re women of striking qualities. (Crackastic)
Author’s Note: Written for rosie_spleen’s Bleeding Cuticles Challenge (Day 8).

Many thanks to mystressxoxo for the beta.
This is a companion piece/sequel for Small Talk between Heroines (and yes, I’ve replaced Carrie Bradshaw with Shirley Schmidt).

Miss Parker

Miss Parker lighting up a cigarette starts it all. The other women protest loudly, groan and say the living room is going to stink.

“I thought you’d quit?” Sara points out disapprovingly. She knows about addiction and beating it and how awful it is to fall back into it. She’s this close to snagging the cigarette from Parker’s fingers, but... well, she’d rather not have her head ripped off – again.

“So. Sue me.”

The contestation reaches another level when Mrs. Peel grabs a cigarette. She shrugs. “Hey. I’m from the 60s. It was not that a big deal back then.”

“This isn’t the best of your qualities, Parker,” Shirley sighs.

“Do you have a best quality, Parker?” CJ inquires mockingly.

“I have a big gun. And I use it.”

Mrs. Peel

“I’m the smartest, fearless person around.”

Four pairs of eyebrows arch very high.

“I’ve been tested,” she explains. “I’m smarter than Steed, which is no small feat, and those fear merchants weren’t able to find even the smallest phobia in me.”

The rest of the troop doesn’t even bother asking about the ‘fear merchants’. You have to take some things for granted when dealing with Emma and her quite peculiar job.

“You don’t even fear lack of champagne?” Parker points out with irony.

“That’s Steed’s phobia, not mine.”

Sara grins. “So, I think we can establish that your best quality is your undying confidence in yourself.”

Mrs. Peel raises her glass to Sara. “Indeed, my dear.”

CJ Cregg

“I’m delicious, delightful and patient.”

They wait for more. So far, so good; nothing exaggerated.

“I’ve asked my assistant to burn down the press briefing room several times, but I’ve always changed my mind. I’ve never killed a reporter, no matter how often I’ve dreamed of strangling a few of them with my bare hands. Although... on a few occasions, I’ve taken some of them down badly.”

“I remember that,” Parker says, teeth showing in a predatory grin.

“I’ve never kicked Toby Ziegler or Josh Lyman’s ass.”

Shirley smirks. “You mean physically? Because metaphorically...”

“Oh, sure. Metaphorically, I’d say sitting must have been painful a few times.” She nods her head. “The President, on the other hand...” She raises a finger at Sara to signal her that she’s talking about her President, not Sara’s. “Sometimes, if the Secret Service hadn’t been around...”

Parker blows out a ring of smoke. “So, your best quality is not having kicked your President’s ass? And I’m allegedly the one with the violent tendencies?”

CJ reclines in the sofa. “Have you ever been trapped on a plane, sitting through a six-hour long lecture on national parks?”

Delicious, delightful and patient.

Sara Tancredi

“I’m modest and resilient. The strong and nice woman standing by her man and supporting him. And I’m happy to be that woman.”

She thinks Parker may slap her; she’s sure Shirley and CJ are rolling their eyes; Mrs. Peel is looking at her with a small pout and asks her if she’s sure she’s not from the 60s.

Maybe they’re right.

Wait a minute. They’re so right.

“Oh, what the fucking hell! I’m awesome. I jump through windows, I iron badass ex-agents, I shoot people, including my bitch of a mother-in-law. And I do all that stuff while keeping my head cool. Well, almost always keeping my head, and almost always keeping cool.”

Parker high-fives her. “Atta girl.”

Shirley Schmidt

“I’m Schmidt.”

Shirley shrugs and rests at that. Enough said. At least, she thinks so until she realizes that the assembly is waiting for a tiny bit of development.

“I’m clever, rich, successful, witty, and hot. In five years, I’ve been lusted after more than any woman a third of my age.”

“Yes. Yes, you certainly are all of that, but you’re also, you know... a lawyer,” CJ says, lowering her voice and scrunching her nose in dismay. “I’ve worked with lawyers. Maddening people.”

“I have high moral standards, but I can stay open to other people’s opinions.”

“Maddening, maddening people,” CJ insists.

“And unlike some of my colleagues, my ego can fit in a room.”

“You must have big offices at your firm,” Parker says.

“Why... yes. How did you guess?”

* *

--Comments are always welcome.
Current Mood: frustratedfrustrated
Anna: writinganna_tarawiel on August 11th, 2010 04:39 pm (UTC)
C'est marrant que quelques jours après avoir relu le premier volet, je découvre avec plaisir ce court mais agréable compagnon (je trouve pas de mot français...), et même si je ne connais pas cette Schmidt, j'ai beaucoup aimé son passage. Et Miss Parker. Ca fait une éternité que je n'ai pas vu un épisode du Caméléon, et pourtant je l'imagine sans aucun souci. Well done as usual.
Clair de Lune: boston legalclair_de_lune on August 11th, 2010 05:50 pm (UTC)
Shirley Schmidt est interprétée par Candice Bergen, si ça peut t'aider à visualiser. Elle a tendence à rappeler que toutes les actions des avocats du cabinet dont elle est un des membres fondateurs rejaillissent sur Crane, Poole & Schmidt, et "I am Schmidt." D'où le "I'm Schmidt" détourné ici.

Merci :)
Serendipityxxi: Addictserendipityxxi on August 11th, 2010 06:41 pm (UTC)
LOL Sara is awesome! I'm glad you included here in it :) Parker's best quality is in fact her snark though *G*
Clair de Lune: pb - sara3clair_de_lune on August 11th, 2010 07:12 pm (UTC)
Oh, I couldn't not include Sara!
You are so right about Parker *slaps forehead*
Genevieve: don't mess with us by sezmsgenevieve on August 11th, 2010 11:50 pm (UTC)
Clair de Lune: pb - sara3clair_de_lune on August 12th, 2010 11:00 am (UTC)
Maybe my summary shoud've been "They're women of striking qualities and ego, huh? *g*
dragonflylady77: Dean awesomedragonflylady77 on August 12th, 2010 02:49 am (UTC)
“And unlike some of my colleagues, my ego can fit in a room.”

“You must have big offices at your firm,” Parker says.

“Why... yes. How did you guess?”
<--- Fave line!!

Je viens de lire le premier volet (en francais puis la version anglaise).
Ca me donne envie de regarder le Caméléon que je n'ai pas vu depuis que ca passait sur M6... J'me sens vieille d'un coup!

You really got their voice and I love CJ and the lecture on National Parks. *giggles*
Clair de Lune: pretenderclair_de_lune on August 12th, 2010 11:02 am (UTC)
Ca fait un moment que je n'ai pas regardé un épisode du Caméléon non plus, mais Parker... comment oublier Parker ?

POTUS could be slightly boring - although in an enticing way for us - and obsessive, every now and then ^_^

Edited at 2010-08-12 11:03 am (UTC)
dragonflylady77: Josh Donna tiedragonflylady77 on August 12th, 2010 11:17 am (UTC)
Je crois pas qu'ils l'ont au videoclub ou j'habite... :( Et non, Parker elle s'oublie pas!! Meme dans "Less Than Perfect"...

POTUS = made of EPIC win!!

*needs to have rewatch of The West Wing*
one of those regular weird people.: DVI-Detective Cosmosterling_sky on August 12th, 2010 04:35 am (UTC)
I don't know whether to thank you for writing this or curse you for almost making me ruin my monitor when I snorted juice all over it. ESPECIALLY the "I'm Schmidt." I need to dig out my I'm Schmidt icon again. ;)
Clair de Lune: cj - aieclair_de_lune on August 12th, 2010 11:05 am (UTC)
My sincere apologies to the monitor ;)

Schmidt... I think I have a bad case of fangirl crush on Schmidt. I totally agree with my own "Enough said" :-p
The depressed optimist: Kitty - ITS ME!lizparker6 on August 12th, 2010 06:07 pm (UTC)
ROlfmao, this is SO made of win!

"“Oh, what the fucking hell! I’m awesome. I jump through windows, I iron badass ex-agents, I shoot people, including my bitch of a mother-in-law. "

*high-fives Sara*
Clair de Lune: pb - sara4clair_de_lune on August 12th, 2010 08:58 pm (UTC)
To be honest, Sara's section is not my fav in the fic. That said... she is awesome so, at least, I got this right :-p

Thank you ;)