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11 February 2010 @ 07:59 pm
The Good Wife - A Few Feelings Alicia Florrick Stirred Up  
Title: A Few Feelings Alicia Florrick Stirred Up
Author: clair_de_lune
Pairing: Alicia/Kalinda (one-sided)
Category: Femslash
Rating: R
Word count: ~ 1700
Disclaimer: Not mine. Just borrowing them for a while.
Summary: If surprise wasn’t a feeling Alicia Florrick arose in Kalinda, there were a few other ones she did stir up.
Author’s Note: This is Fic #1 for tokenblkgirl who bid on my ficlets offering at help_haiti. She suggested a few pairings and prompts to work with. I guess this could be for ‘unravel’ although, to be honest, I had the idea for this fic before I read the prompt and kind of slapped it on ;)
Many thanks to badboy_fangirl for the beta and the hand-holding. Any remaining mistakes are mine.

“Does anyone ever surprise you?” Alicia had asked her once.


“Not even me?”

“Especially you.”

It was the truth. Essentially. But if surprise wasn’t a feeling Alicia Florrick arose in Kalinda, there were a few other ones she did stir up.

* *

Sometimes, Alicia would say or do something so unfittingly naïve or unsophisticated that Kalinda couldn’t help snickering. She laughed with her, though, rarely at her.

“Anger is not a good advisor,” Kalinda pointed out.

Anger, she assumed, was what had caused the two inches thick file to spill all over the floor of Alicia’s office: no awkward move could ever cause such... spreading. Straight in her boots, she watched the other woman on her hands and knees gather the papers and pictures to arrange them back in the brown folder. Alicia’s usually perfect hair was slightly tousled and her white shirt had wriggled out of her skirt waistline. Good thing it was late and nobody else was around.

“Cary?” Kalinda added.

If it was because of Cary, she hoped that, at least, he didn’t witness her burst of temper.

Alicia didn’t look up when she answered, “Childs.”

“Uh. I’m surprised he can still get to you.”

“Yes. This is what annoys me the most. The fact that when he plays his cards right...” She lifted the half empty file and waved it. “... this kind of thing happens.”

Kalinda nodded; she could relate to that, although she was not into violence – not towards inanimate objects anyway. She walked in and headed for the small couch in the corner of the room, cautious not to step on the reports and memos strewn over the carpet. When she sat and crossed her legs, Alicia threw her a glance.

“You’re not going to help me with this, are you?”

“No. You must clean up your own mess.” She did push a sheet of paper in Alicia’s direction with the heel of her boot, though. “But I’ll keep you company while you do it.”

Alicia eyed the clutter of documents around her.

“Get comfortable. It might take a while.”

Kalinda snickered; Alicia snickered back. It was quiet and low-key, an understanding Kalinda never thought she would share with a woman she’d known for only a few of months.

There was camaraderie, and sprinkles of complicity.

* *

Sometimes, Alicia would say or do something so ballsy that Kalinda had to bow to her.

Alicia kicked ass, and this statement came from Kalinda who, with all due modesty, kicked some serious ass too. The woman had a way with people and with words and with the law. She could make the State’s Attorney antsy, and witnesses as comfortable as necessary – or, depending on where they stood, as uncomfortable as hell. The former was not a small feat, and always fun to watch, by the way.

She had faced the press, the gossips, and the manipulations with a grace and poise not a lot of people would have exhibited in her situation. Maybe it was fortitude, maybe it was pride; as far as Kalinda was concerned, it didn’t matter.

So when Alicia saw beyond her own feelings and interest and passed intel about a rapist to Childs; when she owned Stern, even if only so briefly; when she kept her head up in the middle of the not-so-high-class hooker mess; when she didn’t flinch as Duke Roscoe pulled out pictures on national television of her and Will Gardner at a hotel; when she managed to work with Cary Agos ten hours a day and rolled her eyes at him only a couple of times... Kalinda remembered she used to be a sheltered good wife and mom, and she bowed to her.

There was admiration – an educated admiration, not a blind one.

* *

Sometimes, people would say or do something so despicable that Kalinda felt like stepping in for her. Not that Alicia needed it: she had proven she could stand for herself, hadn’t she? But the fact remained that Kalinda felt like doing it nonetheless or, at least, offering to. The tactlessness and recklessness of some caused a protective instinct to kick in a tad more ferociously than usual.


She would have checked on Cary's whereabouts – if only she had thought he was an actual danger.

Aside from anything she might otherwise think of him, about once a week, she wanted to tell Peter Florrick that he didn’t deserve his wife. Never had, never will.

She would have loved to talk to Amber. She was good at talking. People usually understood her pretty fast.

And now there was that healthy but obnoxious client pawing Alicia’s knee and hinting without an ounce of subtlety that she would be entitled to get back at her husband in the same way he’d hurt her. As well-mannered as ever, Alicia merely smiled at him and explained that, “I know people who are in the breaking fingers business, Mr. Shore.”

The paw slipped down.

In the elevator, which Kalinda had purposefully-coincidentally entered at the same moment than him, Shore gave her a once-over and asked with a smirk, “Are you one of those people in the breaking fingers business?”

She put her hands in the pockets of her leather jacket.

“I don’t stop at the fingers.”

There was thoughtfulness, and the temptation to protect her.

* *

Sometimes, there just was a reason, good or bad, to either celebrate or drown a bad day in a glass of liquor. Preferably hard, plain liquor – no pretty, colorful cocktails, thank you very much. Kalinda would make up a Stern, Lockhart & Gardner tradition including tequila, scotch or gin, then. Although, after the first couple of times, Alicia had understood Kalinda was forging said traditions. Maybe because Kalinda had admitted it to her. She couldn’t be sure because she was slightly tipsy right now. Not drunk, never, but tipsy, definitely, and it hadn’t happened to her since...

She couldn’t even remember.

Alicia grinned and maternally patted her hand.

“I’ll hold your hair if you barf,” she assured her.

“A woman like you shouldn’t say ‘barf’, and on a side note, I can drink you under the table anytime I want.” Her voice was slightly more slurred than it should have been; she breathed in deeply before going on. “I’d be the one holding your hair.”

She watched Alicia tip her head back – long neck bent and throat working – to down in a single gulp her vodka. She thought that maybe, just maybe, they would roll under the table together. Fine with her.

They were bonding, and an annoying yet pleasant butterfly sensation afflicted her stomach.

* *

And then, there were the quiet moments where Alicia didn’t say or do anything special. She just sat there, in her office, in a conference room, at a bar, her shoulder or sometimes her knee brushing Kalinda’s, her warmth and scent intoxicating. In those moments, Kalinda felt so totally and utterly screwed.

When it happened, her fingers hitched, her lips tingled, her breasts ached deliciously, the butterflies in her stomach moved faster... She wanted to touch her, but refrained. Notwithstanding the issue of Alicia’s interest, Kalinda was pretty sure that an affair didn’t fit with her moral code – it was the fortitude or pride thing all over again, and here too it made no difference whether she leaned toward the later, the former, or a mixture of both.

Nothing good could come out from fantasizing about a woman you would never get. Kalinda’d rather avoid getting caught in her imagination, but every now and then, the pictures that formed in her mind were too vivid to disappear by themselves.

She would start slowly, both not to scare and to tease her. She could picture herself lifting the dark and heavy mass of Alicia’s hair to bare the nape of her neck and graze the delicate skin. It would be the first touch spurring everything else. She would stroke and kiss her way down, pushing Alicia onto the couch, pushing her clothes out of the way, pushing her legs apart. She would revel in her muffled gasps, in the flushing of her skin and the spicy scent of her arousal. It took hardly any effort to imagine the feel of the fullness and softness of Alicia's body under her fingertips.

Alicia would protest a bit because it was the appropriate thing to do, but eventually, when Kalinda’s mouth followed the planes of her stomach and latched between her thighs, her hand would grip the back of Kalinda’s head and urge her on.

Kalinda would kiss her on the mouth only after Alicia had come, while Alicia’s fingers would be working her, pushing and moving deep inside her, reciprocating and making her bite her lips not to beg. Alicia’s free hand would soothe her back or tauntingly fondle her breasts and nipples – Kalinda had no fixed preference, no hard predilection about that, it mostly depended on the mood she was in when she pictured the whole thing.

She had a very bright and sharp image of Alicia: reclining on her sofa, her hair ruffled and her smart grey skirt riding up her hips, shapely legs opened just enough for Kalinda to fit between, looking sated and thoroughly fucked out. Their lips and their breasts were swollen, their breathing labored, their thighs still damp with their releases. They didn’t know what they would do next about the mess they had created but, for a while, it didn’t matter.

There was desire, and the knowledge that it would remained unfulfilled.

* *

It was rather true that nobody ever surprised her. But Alicia Florrick landing on her doormat at 10pm, with a bottle of whisky and the thick brown file she’d put back in order earlier that night, wearing jeans and no make-up? Kalinda didn’t expect that. If only because she had never told her where she lived.

She blinked, only once but it was more than enough for an amused half smile to lift the corner of Alicia’s mouth.

“I need a bit of help with this,” she explained, waving the file in Kalinda’s face for the second time tonight.

Kalinda let her in.

Current Mood: nervousnervous
tokenblkgirl: The Good Wifetokenblkgirl on February 12th, 2010 05:39 am (UTC)
God, this was so lovely.

I love the unrequited undercurrent of Kalinda's feelings, and how Alicia gives just enough back to keep them alive and her questioning. I like that she throws Kalinda off her game so much, because no one else really does that. Your characterization of these women is fantastic, I swear it gets better every time you write them.

I also really enjoyed your incorporation of cannon and how seamless this feels with what's happening on the show, that's so no easy to do. And it was sexy as hell too, the what if of the love scene was fantastic. This entire story was exactly what I'd hoped for. :)

Thank you so much for writing this and for writing the show period,I was beginning to worry there wouldn't be any fic for this show at all and you go and write something as awesome as this!

Clair de Lune: tgw - kalindaclair_de_lune on February 12th, 2010 10:30 pm (UTC)
Thank you :D I've had the idea for a fic about Kalinda's feelings / POV on Alicia for a while - they have such a rich and enticing relationship, which is not that common for female characters - and this was the perfect opportunity to try to write it. The result is probably a bit more 'shippy' than what I had in mind, and the love scene is longer and more explicit than I'd imagined, but then, the whole fic is longer than I'd imagined. I think I got carried away a bit, which actually makes me happy :-p

I wanted to lean on a few actual elements and events, but not make them too obvious. I didn't want to rewrite the show - paraphrase is never good *g* So, glad the tidbits of canon fit in.

I was beginning to worry there wouldn't be any fic for this show at all

They're still rather rare but a few ones have been posted, recently. We can only hope there will be more soon...

*hugs back*
(Deleted comment)
Clair de Lune: tgw - kalindaclair_de_lune on February 14th, 2010 05:41 pm (UTC)
its sort of tense and edgy and equally resigned to it's futility

*nods* At this point, this is the most she'll get from Alicia and she knows and accepts it.

you write butterflies ;)

Aww, this is such a lovely image :)

Thank you for reading and commenting!
Bad Fluffybadfluffy on February 13th, 2010 04:56 am (UTC)
Beautifully written and totally in character... Some classic dialog... "I don't stop at the fingers". Priceless! and a great mix of character insight and adlib to some of the best scenes from the show. You got Kalinda just right, which is rare, she's not just a tough cookie, she's a whole human being with an attitude, for sure, but also a sense of self and others that binds her to Alicia so perfectly.
I know a lot of people would like to see Alicia and Kalinda hook up on the show but I think for many reasons, all justified, the closest we'll get to it is this unrequited attraction and you frame it perfectly.

I find the love scene tactfully and tastefully written... and yet very very sexy. Don't worry about being carried away, that's what good writers do. They let their characters make their own story and that's really the general sense here. You did let them play out their moment without interferring, merely putting into words what they would do or say.

One thing though, because I was born a critic and I don't want you to think I'm gushing ;) Not a chance in hell Alicia could keep up with Kalinda's drinking. Not a one :p

Clair de Lune: tgw - alicia kalindaclair_de_lune on February 14th, 2010 05:44 pm (UTC)
Kalinda is one tough cookie, isn't she, and it's so enticing to dwell on this side of the character, but you're right, she's more than just that. I'm happy if I managed to convey it :)

Oh, I'm not afraid of getting carried away *g* I'm used to it actually: I've written about 200 Prison Break fics and a few of them were definitely longer, sometimes totally different from what I initially had in mind. I do mind it if I'd planned something specific, format-wise for example, but it was not the case here. It's just that, at help_haiti, I promised 300 to 500 word ficlets because I wasn't sure I would be able to write more, so I'm amused and pleased to see how it turned out :-p

Not a chance in hell Alicia could keep up with Kalinda's drinking.

LOL. You never know what is hidden beneath those smooth façades. But I have to agree with you, Alicia probably overestimates her drinking ability.

Thanks a lot for the thoughtful comment :)
harper_m: leverage: parker will not tolerate thisharper_m on February 14th, 2010 06:34 pm (UTC)
This was excellent. I like the illustration of all of the things happening under Kalinda's veneer of unflappable calm. I like how Alicia is painted as the unwitting (?) temptress. (I would be remiss if I didn't mention that I also like the image of Alicia on the sofa.) I also quite like the way Kalinda describes it all - particularly her sexual fantasy - with a dose of detachment mixed with a bit of surprise.
Clair de Lune: tgwclair_de_lune on February 16th, 2010 08:57 pm (UTC)
Thank you!

Trying to list a few things Kalinda may think of Alicia was interesting. Now, I'd love it if someone wrote a fic about Kalinda's thoughts and a priori on Alicia before they actually met ^_^

the unwitting (?) temptress

In my mind, Alicia doesn't realize what's going on - it would be a bit cruel of her to carry on - but that's just me and it's probably open to interpretation.

Kalinda doesn't strike me as someone who would gush about her feelings or open up easily to new people. I guess the detachement mixed with surprise came from this. I'm happy you enjoyed the tone - and the image of Alicia on the sofa ;)
Elenachepis on February 15th, 2010 12:41 am (UTC)
This was beautiful.
I love the whole unrequired crush.
Kalinda is so misterious and calm, that this approach is really nice and her fantasy = hot.
Clair de Lune: tgw - kalindaclair_de_lune on February 16th, 2010 08:57 pm (UTC)
Thanks a lot. For now, I can't picture Alicia reciprocating in any way, so the unrequired crush approach was the easiest, if not the only one, for me. Glad it was to your liking :)
demoka: katewalshdemoka on February 15th, 2010 01:13 pm (UTC)
OMG! Sexy! And yes, even after only watching two eps of TGW, I am thoroughly convinced by your fic! (and convinced that you know their characters very well)

Perfect combination of narrative & smut! Thanks for writing & sharing! *grins* Love the fact that Alicia knows where Kalinda lives!
Clair de Lune: tgw - alicia kalindaclair_de_lune on February 16th, 2010 08:58 pm (UTC)
Well, what can I say except thank you and, obviously, watch more episodes :-p
I'm glad you enjoyed the smut as well as the non-smut and the characterization. Thanks for reading and commenting :)
one of those regular weird people.: TWW-CJ-Solitairesterling_sky on February 15th, 2010 09:42 pm (UTC)
The fantasy love scene, especially, was absolutely fantastic. The characters are really perfectly in 'voice', throughout the whole fic but the heightened fantasy aspect made it seem much more plausible, because realistically, what are the chances of them just falling into bed together, considering their roles. Your set-up is so much stronger than most of the fics involving this pairing; makes it seem much more likely to happen and of course, then so much more real! :D

Thank you! :D
Clair de Lune: tgw - alicia kalindaclair_de_lune on February 16th, 2010 08:59 pm (UTC)
I don't know if I can imagine Kalinda actually wanting to take things further, but at this point, I certainly can't picture Alicia cheating on Peter with... anyone. So keeping it in the realm of wishful thinking made sense for me.
I'm delighted you liked the love scene. I usually don't write fics so soon after starting to watch a tv show, especially stories with higher ratings like this one. It's really nice to hear the characterizations worked for you.

Thank you for the nice feedback :)
beep... beep... beep - sterling_sky on February 17th, 2010 03:32 am (UTC) (Expand)
beep... beep... beep - clair_de_lune on February 17th, 2010 07:37 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
Clair de Lune: tgw - alicia kalindaclair_de_lune on February 17th, 2010 07:38 pm (UTC)
It's not so much that I try to keep them one-sided than the fact that I can't help it ;-) Mostly because I don't picture Alicia cheating on Peter, no matter how much he may deserve that she gets back at him.
I do like the pairing, but without the prompt, I'm not sure I'd have written them as, well, a pairing so soon. Maybe I'd have sticked to the frienship aspect. It's true for Alicia/Kalinda but also for other possible pairings: I need a bit more time to really "ship" the characters.

I've been trying to complete a microfic meme about Alicia/Peter: it's not (not entirely) one-sided but somehow, I have a hunch that Alicia/Peter may not be your cup of tea *g*

I hope you get that, you know, I love reading the A/K stuff you write.
Thank you ♥
ralst: P&Pralst on February 17th, 2010 09:13 pm (UTC)
Such perfect characterisation. I thoroughly enjoyed this, thank you.
alpha_beat on February 18th, 2010 05:18 am (UTC)
LOVE. More, please?
beep... beep... beep - clair_de_lune on February 18th, 2010 08:45 pm (UTC) (Expand)
beep... beep... beep - clair_de_lune on February 18th, 2010 08:44 pm (UTC) (Expand)
happy is as happy does: Happy Birthday - Prison Breakhappywriter06 on February 18th, 2010 06:36 am (UTC)
It's your birthday Friday but this is a gift to your readers. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

I love this because you've captured Kalinda perfectly. I'm not overstating that. You should write for the show. Besides her believable characterization, you've managed the details that make the character of Alicia work.

It's really hard to pick a favorite line or paragraph. The whole thing is just lovely. I wish my femslash was half as good as this, you talented, talented woman!
Clair de Lune: tgw - aliciaclair_de_lune on February 18th, 2010 08:45 pm (UTC)
Thank you - for the comment and for the birthday wishes.

You should write for the show.

*blushes & squirms*
Oh well, OK, then. Although I'm not sure the love scene would make it to the small screen. The show would probably have to move to another channel *g*

Kalinda scares me a little because I worry a bit to overdo it, but she's fun to write - kickass female characters usually are. Remember Jane? ;)
beep... beep... beep - happywriter06 on February 22nd, 2010 05:14 am (UTC) (Expand)
jaws_of_fenrirjaws_of_fenrir on February 21st, 2010 08:34 am (UTC)
Utterly fantastic, best fic I've read of this pairing. Nicely done!
Only one criticism; why is there a "fin" at the bottom when there should clearly be a "part 2," hmm? Yes? *pleads*
Clair de Lune: tgw - kalindaclair_de_lune on February 21st, 2010 07:08 pm (UTC)
*hangs head* I'm afraid I'll have to take the criticism with good grace since I don't plan to write a sequel for now ;)

I'm happy you liked it. Thanks for reading and for the kind comment :)
loopyallieloopyallie on March 11th, 2010 07:50 pm (UTC)
Wow that was amazingly beautiful! Perfect I say! You have really written Kalinda's reconstructed POV on the references that happened on the show and characteristic so well!

Her fantasy with Alicia was HOT and very tastefully written. Alicia on the sofa... *sighs*

It makes me so frustrated that they have so much chemistry and potential in the show that I know the writers are not going to do it, we can only dream on. Alicia is too loyal (and foolish) to Peter! Not fair! lol!

You planning on writing more on these two? I love your writing!
Clair de Lune: tgw - alicia kalindaclair_de_lune on March 12th, 2010 09:28 pm (UTC)
Thank you! When I wrote this, I'd been wanting for a while to list and expand a bit on Kalinda's feelings and POV on Alicia. Even after less than a dozen of episodes, their relationship is so rich, it was a delight to try to come up with something. So glad you enjoyed this.

Alicia is too loyal (and foolish) to Peter!
But that's also why we - well... at least *I* :-p - love her so much, isn't it?

I've posted another A/K ficlet, Offerings; the rest of my TGW fis is about other pairings. For now, I don't have anything else planned, but I certainly hope I'll write more on the two of them :)
mallorymalloryl on March 12th, 2010 04:46 am (UTC)
Thanks you! This is my favorite of the few K/A fics floating around. Love the subtext, and also love that you kept the relationship in the murky water, which IMHO is where all the fun is. Kalinda must be great to work with, such a great character.
Clair de Lune: tgw - kalindaclair_de_lune on March 12th, 2010 09:29 pm (UTC)
Re: Awesome!
Aww, thanks so much :)
I have to agree about the murky water. In the long run, it might become annoying, especially for the most devoted shippers, but for now, I don't have a definite OTP on this show and I enjoyed playing with the 'maybe' in this fic.
Kalinda is totally fun to write! Awesome badass female character - how could she not be fun to write :-p
dariclone on March 18th, 2010 01:21 am (UTC)
This was so well written and *hot.* There really should be mor Kalinda/Alicia out there.
Clair de Lune: tgw - alicia kalindaclair_de_lune on March 18th, 2010 08:16 pm (UTC)
Thanks a lot. So glad you liked it :D
Andi Torak: good wife is so slashytorak303 on July 15th, 2010 03:56 pm (UTC)
Just read this for the first time in ages, and remembered why it's my favourite Good Wife fan fic I've read. This pairing is so good, and you write Kalinda so well. I wish you hadn't finished it there because I'm desperate to see what happens next, but I get the feeling that would happen whenever the fic finished.

So good
Clair de Lune: tgw - alicia kalindaclair_de_lune on July 15th, 2010 07:16 pm (UTC)
Oh, thanks so much *hugs*
I know the ending sounds like a tease, especially if you ship the two of them, but I couldn't bring myself to write Alicia cheating on Peter. That said, in my mind, Kalinda letting her in = accepting their friendship (even though it might have a side of more romantic feeling), but it's open to interpretation ;-)

Thank you again :)