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12 June 2008 @ 07:02 pm
Prison Break - That Woman  
Title: That Woman
Author: clair_de_lune
Character: Sara
Genre: Gen
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine. Just borrowing them for a while.
Summary: She won’t be that woman.
Notes: Thanks to recycledfaery for her help with the translation. (French version)


She won’t be that woman. The one who wonders if her life might have been different if only... in other circumstances... The one who allows herself to be seduced by a convict. The one who feeds a hope that shouldn’t be. The one who will spend days, weeks, months, years waiting. She’s here to help and expiate, but at the moment she accepted the job, she also decided that some lines couldn’t and wouldn’t be crossed. She’s a woman in a man’s world – men that are being dehumanized. One way or another, she’s a target for most of them, the female guards and the nurses could testify to that, they’re in a similar position. The fact that she’s young and attractive plays its part, but it’s just a bonus for them. The fact that she touches them, heals them, sometimes comforts them. That is the main issue. That’s the reason why she drew lines and can’t allow them to get blurry.

The lines, the areas they define, are exactly like Michael’s plans: neat and spotless, flawless in theory; blown up when an unpredicted and unpredictable factor interferes; their goal remains the same. This idea makes her laugh.

She won’t be that woman and, for over two years, she hasn’t been that woman. But even less than that, she won’t be the woman whose father sacrifices lives and reputations to get the power. It’s not lines she decided and drew, it’s just clear, inescapable obviousness.

So she helped convicts to escape. She allowed the lines to get blurry. For a few seconds, she went back to being the woman who opened the closet holding the narcotic and helped herself for morphine. This time around, she slipped needles and an unused bottle in the pocket of her coat; she locked the medicine cabinet but left the infirmary’s door open when she exited the room.

Happy?

When she got home, she poured herself a scotch. She laughs again, with a bit more of hysteria this time around, musing that her father would be punished twice: escapee, Lincoln Burrows, accomplice, the Governor’s daughter. Good luck on becoming Vice-President with that kind of baggage.

Because Lincoln is in all probability innocent and she can’t make him pay for his brother’s methods and for her own weakness.

Because she will never be able to forget Michael’s gaze when she left without answering him after he lay all his cards on the table.

Because the lines, as blurry they might be, as fuzzy they might be, are still there.

Because she won’t be that woman.

She swallows the scotch and winces. It’s too strong, it’s been too long since she last drank something like that. She helps herself again, drinks again and puts her glass on the table. The chiming of the crystal when it hits the wood seems to reverberate indefinitely. She sits on the couch, wrapped into a blue wool blanket that scrapes a bit on her bare skin.

When she fills the syringe, she carefully measures out the morphine: she sucks in just a bit more than she should to stay on the safe side of the line.

END
 
 
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
 
 
 
Laura: great fic bwlauratnz on June 13th, 2008 06:28 pm (UTC)
Wow! That last bit made me gasp out loud! Seriously, even knowing what happens in the story, seeing it described in such a way gave it great depth for me: "she sucks in just a bit more than she should to stay on the safe side of the line"

I really enjoyed this story as a whole, I like the way you got in Sara's head and showed us what this time period looked like trough her eyes.

This line particularly got to me... that she would be thinking this too at that moment, it makes so much sense and feels so real:
musing that her father would be punished twice: escapee, Lincoln Burrows, accomplice, the Governor’s daughter


Awesome *winks*

Edited at 2008-06-13 07:42 pm (UTC)
Clair de Lune: pb - sara2clair_de_lune on June 13th, 2008 08:27 pm (UTC)
I'm really glad you liked this ficlet. I translated recently but it was the first PB fic I wrote in French almost two years ago and because of that, it's still kind of my pet :-p

that she would be thinking this too at that moment, it makes so much sense and feels so real
It's been a while since I rewatched the season one finale but as far as I remember, she was quite pissed off at her father because he hadn't reviewed Lincoln's file as she'd asked him to. So I guess that, yes, she wouldn't think only about Michael's... I don't know, ploy, treason, request?

Thank you for the kind feedback!

And thanks for the heads-up on the typo, before - I fixed it ;)
Fedsecondavisione on April 17th, 2009 02:59 am (UTC)
This is just perfect. You are an amazing writer!
Clair de Lune: origami - canardclair_de_lune on April 17th, 2009 07:11 pm (UTC)
Oh, thanks so much! This is an old fic, actually the first PB fic I wrote a few years ago, and I'm thrilled you enjoyed it and took the time to drop a note.
Fed: [Nana] cakesecondavisione on April 17th, 2009 11:12 pm (UTC)
My pleasure, really.

I *love* your style and actually can't stop reading your fics - as you may have noticed ;)