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23 April 2008 @ 12:28 pm
Prison Break - The Tancredi Maneuver  
Title: The Tancredi Maneuver
Author: clair_de_lune
Characters: Sara, Kellerman, Michael, Lincoln
Timeline: post 2.16
Word count: ~ 455
Genre: Crackfic
Rating: PG
Summary: She can’t stand it anymore.



She can’t stand it anymore.

She’s irritated, aggravated, fed up, sick to the back teeth.

There’s absolutely no reason why she should accept being shipped, fluffed, angsted, dramatized with a guy who used her, who is just interested in her key and has no other solution to all the crap she’s had to cope with than running to a country with no extradition laws. And who kisses her in a train bathroom. Bathroom. Granted, it was quite telegenic, but still... bathroom.

Seriously, Panama? Is this his plan to ‘make all of this right’ (© Michael Scofield)? Ha!

No, really: Ha!

* *

She has chosen to call it The Tancredi Maneuver (© Sara Tancredi). She likes the sound of it. Of course, this needs a bit of Planning (and there she goes, thinking of the word with a capital letter), but anything remotely looking like a string can make it happen. A hood string. Belt. Bra strap (she would love to see their faces if she did such a thing).

She decides that using the Tancredi Maneuver on Michael has to be Now or Never. So does she. Plan Boy wriggles to escape the string, and Lincoln doesn’t dare to move, fearing she might pull harder and damage his baby brother. Kellerman doesn’t move either. Because, well... it’s not like Kellerman has never wanted to use the Tancredi Maneuver on the Burrows-Scofield, it’s just he’s never had the guts to do it. Wimp.

She takes advantage of their stupefaction to order (yeah, order, she likes the word) Kellerman to call the cops. And then to tie Lincoln. And then Plan Boy, who had certainly not planned such a turnaround. He keeps telling her it’s real, what’s between them, it’s real. Mm, real, less real than the ropes around his wrists and ankles though, huh?

“What about me?” Kellerman asks, a bit worried. She remembers he’s trying to screw the Company, the President, the Secret Service, the FBI and only God knows who else. His life expectancy is quite short.

“You? Panama. With me. Plan Boy must have a back up plan to the back up plan. We just have to find out where he’s hidden it in the damn tattoo.”

“Panama together?” He’s positively beaming. Well, yeah, he can. Plan Boy and big brother are less cheerful, though. “Will we eat crack pies?”

She raises her eyebrows. Right. If he thinks that, he’s probably already eaten too many crack pies. But she doesn’t quip a word, because the Tancredi Maneuver goes well the stick/carrot system.

“Maybe.”

She’s a lot less shippable, fluffable, angstable, drama-able, now, isn’t she?

* *

She’s getting a tan on the beach, in Panama, her fingers playing with the string of her bikini top.

* *


End notes: Thanks to be_cool_bec for her help with the translation. The original version can be found here.
 
 
Current Mood: blankblank
 
 
 
ekorotya on April 24th, 2008 01:48 am (UTC)
This is hilarious!

~E
Clair de Luneclair_de_lune on April 25th, 2008 05:24 pm (UTC)
TeeHee, glad you found it funny ;)
luv_faith_dream on April 24th, 2008 02:56 am (UTC)
OMG, I'm sitting down here with my family and have to try to hold back my laughter, or they'll think I'm totally crazy, but awwwwwwww this is just sooooo funny!!!! I just love it and it still makes me laugh uncontrollably when I remember. 'Plan boy and big brother' - oh my gosh, I just love you for that, wonderful.....thank you, I had a great time;)
Clair de Luneclair_de_lune on April 25th, 2008 05:26 pm (UTC)
I think poor Sara finally snapped, here :-p
Very happy you found it funny. Thanks a lot for your comment!
telperaca on April 24th, 2008 11:43 am (UTC)
Oh got!! You had me... you had me laughing right at the start when you mention the Tancredi Maneuver...
And crack pies.... Woman, please!! You should have a warning saying "DO NOT EAT OR DRINK WHILST READING THIS FIC"
I think something just went round the wrong-side! *Is recovering*

Well done and thanks for the laughs!
:)
Clair de Luneclair_de_lune on April 25th, 2008 05:34 pm (UTC)
you had me laughing right at the start when you mention the Tancredi Maneuver...
It was a nice move, it deserves to be labelled :-p

I think something just went round the wrong-side! *Is recovering*
I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you feel better now *pats you on the back*

Thanks for reading and commenting :)
Maz (or foxxy!): Goldfinch Enthusiasttuesdaeschild on January 17th, 2011 05:33 pm (UTC)
LOL LOL LOL!

It seems even Sara, when faced with Plan Boy, can be pushed to her limits!!! What a turnaround?!! Handing Scofield and Burrows over to the police and using the inevitable back-up plan to run away to Panama with The Magnificent Bastard!! Looks like you pushed the lady doctor just a bit too far, Plan Boy!!!

A hood string. Belt. Bra strap (she would love to see their faces if she did such a thing)

So would I!!!

And the kiss in the train's bathroom? They don't come any more photogenic than that!! Except if he was kissing Lincoln instead. ;)

Fabulously hilarious...if this is what comes of writing fic in the dead of night keep doing it!! :D
Clair de Lune: s.w.calliesclair_de_lune on January 22nd, 2011 08:23 pm (UTC)
Seriously! He so would have deserved something like that when you think about it. Maybe not something so extreme, but a bit of smacking around. That he used her and fell for her was one thing, but making her a fugitive was his magical solution to "make everything all right"? I think the fic was also a reaction to all the cute/fluffy shipper stories (including mine) not always acknowledging that there may be some... baggage between them at this point, hence the reference to her (not) being shippable, fluffable, angstable and drama-able.

This version of Kellerman is so totally smitten with her, her being bossy and agressive - for lack of a better word - probably making him fall harder. I do think that he had at least a soft spot for her "in real", but crack!Kellerman would totally picture himself on the beach with Sara.

And the kiss in the train's bathroom? They don't come any more photogenic than that!! Except if he was kissing Lincoln instead. ;)
If I ever write M/S or M/L sneaking in a restaurant/train/plane/hotel bathroom to kiss, you'll know who to blame ;)

Glad it made you laugh *g*
Maz (or foxxy!): Ooops!tuesdaeschild on January 24th, 2011 10:55 am (UTC)
Maybe not something so extreme, but a bit of smacking around.

Yes, he would have deserved it...and he would have accepted that he deserved it too because nobody feels he deserves guilt more than Michael!! And this was a fabulous reaction ot all the cute/fluffy shipper-ness! :)

crack!Kellerman would totally picture himself on the beach with Sara.

I really can see crack!Kellerman trotting along after her like a devoted puppy!

If I ever write M/S or M/L sneaking in a restaurant/train/plane/hotel bathroom to kiss, you'll know who to blame ;)

Erm...that'll be me then?!! ;)

Who couldn't love a little crackfic now and again?!! :)

Clair de Lune: pb - kellermanclair_de_lune on January 31st, 2011 07:39 pm (UTC)
I really can see crack!Kellerman trotting along after her like a devoted puppy!

I so wish Muse would let me write a sequel, now *g*
Maz (or foxxy!): Ooops!tuesdaeschild on February 1st, 2011 01:19 pm (UTC)
That would be hilarious, I'm sure! *g*