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07 April 2013 @ 08:24 pm
Lawyers & Witnesses  
Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."

More this way.
 
 
Current Mood: amusedamused
 
 
 
~Camille-Miko~camille_miko on April 7th, 2013 07:08 pm (UTC)
J'aime beaucoup ^-^ (Je suis sûre que ça pourrait faire une excellente base pour une originale)
Clair de Luneclair_de_lune on April 7th, 2013 08:30 pm (UTC)
J'ai cité ici ma préférée, mais certaines autres ne sont pas mal *g*
Maz (or foxxy!): You gotta be kidding!tuesdaeschild on April 9th, 2013 06:12 pm (UTC)
If I ever need a lawyer I'll represent myself! This is very worrying! :)
Clair de Lune: boston legalclair_de_lune on April 12th, 2013 07:29 pm (UTC)
There's this one...

Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"
The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail.


... but I'm sure you would do a better job than said Accused ^__^

I quoted my fav here, but the others are not bad either. For example...

Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"
Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."


*g*
Maz (or foxxy!): Sweet Boytuesdaeschild on April 13th, 2013 01:52 pm (UTC)
... but I'm sure you would do a better job than said Accused ^__^

It's highly unlikely I could do any worse... >_>

Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"
Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."


Mwahahaha!! I do love the witness' honesty!! ;)