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31 March 2011 @ 02:00 pm
Prison Break - How It’s Done  
Title: How It’s Done
Author: clair_de_lune
Fandom: Prison Break
Characters: Michael/Sara, Lincoln, mentions of Jane
Categories: Het, gen
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~ 760
Disclaimer: Not mine. Just borrowing them for a while.
Summary: “Jane sent me the link to the web page,” Sara said casually, gathering as much dignity as possible. (Post-series, non-epilogue compliant)
Author’s Note: Written for April Fool’s mini-round at rounds_of_kink, with the prompts ‘cactus’ and ‘toys and devices’. This is crackastic, although not as much as I intended it to be.


Many thanks to tuesdaeschild for the beta.

The dildo displayed on the laptop screen was green, stubby and flanked with two small excrescences at its base – looking like a cactus right down to the tiny jelly spikes planted all over its plushy, bulbous length. Sara snorted at the sight. Bad move as it brought Michael’s attention to her. She tried to alt-tab her way out of the website, but Michael leaned over and glanced at the screen before her thumb and her pinky finger had the chance to reach the coveted keys.

Crap.

“Jane sent me the link to the web page,” she said casually, gathering as much dignity as possible and letting it seep into her voice. “She’s in Arizona.” She shrugged unapologetically. “She has a quirky sense of humor.”

He scrunched his nose. Not because of the dildo, Sara knew that.

Okay, maybe a bit because of the dildo, but mostly because of Jane. Lincoln and LJ had met the woman. Sara too after she had escaped Gretchen’s custody. Heck, even Sofia had met her when she had visited a handful of times. Michael, though? Never. For one reason or another, he’d always been out of town when she was around. Frustrating.

“Why anyone would want a cactus-looking...” He trailed off and waved at the picture with a slight wince.

“People have their fetishes and kinks, Michael.”

Just one small sentence. It was enough to make Michael blush. And smirk.

“Jane emails me lolcats,” Lincoln volunteered from the couch he had slouched into. He threw a glance at the laptop above the neck of his bottle of beer and shuddered. “All things considered, I will never ever complain again about the fucking lolcats,” he swore solemnly.

“Why does Jane send you links to sex toy websites?” Michael inquired, ignoring his brother’s comment.

Before Sara could come up with a witty remark, Lincoln was gulping down his beer and explaining, “A lot of married – happily married – women have dildos and stuff, Mike. Don’t take it personally.”

Michael blue-steeled at him across the living room. No effect. It wasn’t like Lincoln hadn’t been given the blue-steel treatment for about twenty-five years. Many, many occasions for that.

“Why are you here?” Michael asked him.

“You guys buy great beer and I enjoy the conversation. Also, you saved my ass back in Fox River so you’re the one to blame.”

Michael pinched the top of his nose, right between his eyes, where migraine and exasperation threatened to throb. Sara said nothing. She liked having Lincoln around. She liked the brotherly banter and rivalry and how easily Lincoln could ruffle Michael’s feathers. She also liked not having Lincoln around and everything Michael and her could do when they were alone. She patted her husband’s hand comfortingly and whispered into his ear about how they would spend the rest of the afternoon after Lincoln had left.

“So I take it you don’t like cactus-looking fake dicks, Michael?” Linc insisted.

“Michael knows that I don’t like those plastic things. I have more classy tastes,” Sara said softly, her tone polite, confident and subtly dirty. “Stylish and stylized olisbos. Silicone. Steel. Ceramic.” She nodded to herself. “Ceramic is great.”

Lincoln considered her with incertitude, wondering if she was being serious.

“How can you be so flippant?” he asked with a grin and a sweeping gesture to grab the bottle of beer he had set down on the coffee table.

“Med school, prison doctor, brother-in-law... Make your choice.”

Michael looked at her. They didn’t talk, they didn’t need to. Michael silently pleaded I love him more than anyone else beside you, but I want him gone, now and Sara answered Working on it.

“Does Sofia have one?” she asked.

“Have what?”

“A dildo. You said a lot of happily married women have one. So does Sofia?”

“Sofia doesn’t need one.”

Deviant, deviant smile on Sara’s lips, reaching her eyes and crinkling her temples in fine laughing lines. “I never said it should be used on her.”

“Steel,” Michael blurted out. “Steel is nice.”

“Of course you think steel is nice. You’re a man. Steel is a masculine material.”

Lincoln stared at them. Shook his head. Dropped his bottle on the coffee table (Sara didn’t protest because he didn’t set it on the coaster). Got to his feet.

“I’m outta here,” he announced before indeed heading out of here, showing himself out through the large French doors of the living room.

“And that, Scofield,” Sara said as Lincoln walked down toward the beach, “is how it’s done.”

She craned her neck and claimed a due kiss.

-End-

--Comments are always welcome
 
 
Current Mood: coldcold
 
 
 
Maz (or foxxy!): Sara Loltuesdaeschild on March 31st, 2011 05:55 pm (UTC)
I really am glad you used the Arizona line!! That makes it even more cracktastical!! :)

Man-of-the-world Lincoln makes me giggle with his "wise" words and a blushing Michael (swiftly followed by smirking Michael) is never a bad thing!

I think I was grinning so much this time around I almost missed the D-Word!! ;)

And Sara's ruse to get rid of her brother-in-law, even if she does like his company, was genius...must be being around her husband and his genius has clearly rubbed off on her!

You really do write fabulous crackfic, my friend!

*hugs*




Clair de Lune: pb - sara4clair_de_lune on April 1st, 2011 02:43 pm (UTC)
I wanted to add the 'quirky sense of humor' line, but since I'd started to add a bit dialogue, I could as well sneak in the Arizona part, right? Anyway, glad you approve *g*

Despite what he says, Lincoln totally doesn't think that Michael shouldn't take it personally - IF Sara indeed has the aforementioned object(s). It's not established if she's serious or kidding, after all. That said, if one wants to consider that this is set in the same 'verse as the Vanilla fics, she's probably serious :-p
As for blushing and smirking Michael... obviously, Sara knows things.

Let's notice that Sara not only got rid of Lincoln, but she also managed to not answer Michael's question about why Jane sent her the link - although I guess the 'quirky sense of humor' could be enough of an explanation. Sneaky.

Thank you, Foxy *hugs*
Maz (or foxxy!): Sara Loltuesdaeschild on April 2nd, 2011 04:49 pm (UTC)
I think you sneaked in the Arizona part perfectly and I whole-heartedly approve!

Despite what he says, Lincoln totally doesn't think that Michael shouldn't take it personally - IF Sara indeed has the aforementioned object(s)

Strangely I see Michael accepting that Sara might have/want these objects better than Lincoln being okay with Sofia having them. Lincoln might sound like a modern man and he seems to think he's enlightening his brother...and I agree if this is set in the same 'verse as the Vanilla fics Sara is very serious!! And the little dirty Michael/Sara fic we mentioned? I think that would belong in that 'verse too!

As for blushing and smirking Michael... obviously, Sara knows things.

That would appear to be true! ;)

she also managed to not answer Michael's question about why Jane sent her the link

Crafty Sara! I do think the 'quirky sense of humour' suffices as an expanation...though it might be fun to find out if there really was some other reason!! Hehe!!

You're welcome, my dear friend.
*hugs*





Clair de Lune: s.w.calliesclair_de_lune on April 3rd, 2011 10:53 am (UTC)
and I agree if this is set in the same 'verse as the Vanilla fics Sara is very serious!!

Is it wrong that I kind of want to write (or read) a fic in which Lincoln would come across Sara and Michael's "stash" now? Not that he would find anything crude just... what Sara said.

And the little dirty Michael/Sara fic we mentioned? I think that would belong in that 'verse too!

Probably, although I don't think I'd be able to write this one. I shouldn't say this. It souds like an auto-challenge.

it might be fun to find out if there really was some other reason!!

Um, maybe Sara doesn't feel like answering because Jane sent her the link, sure, but on Sara's request? The cactus thing just being a bonus for the lolz (I'm allowed to use "lolz" here: there was some lolcat in the fic itself!)
Maz (or foxxy!): Sara Loltuesdaeschild on April 7th, 2011 04:08 pm (UTC)
I think it's totally right that you want to write (or read) a fic in which Lincoln would come across Sara and Michael's stash!! And no, nothing truly crude; just some nice little goodies!!

I shouldn't say this. It souds like an auto-challenge

It does...and I remember there have been other fics you'd never write!

The cactus thing just being a bonus for the lolz

Very likely...and yes, it's fine to use "lolz" here! :)
Andrea: wentworthsilentflux on March 31st, 2011 08:47 pm (UTC)
LOL, that rocked, hon :D
Clair de Lune: pb - michael2clair_de_lune on April 1st, 2011 02:43 pm (UTC)
Thanks a lot :D
happy is as happy does: thank you - Prison Breakhappywriter06 on April 1st, 2011 04:05 am (UTC)
BEST. THING. EVER! The idea of Jane sending lolcats cracks me up even more than the dildo thing.
Clair de Lune: pb - janeclair_de_lune on April 1st, 2011 02:44 pm (UTC)
It's supposed to be a (middly) kinky-cracky April Fools fic. As long as something cracks you up, I'm happy ;)
Obviously, Jane knows that the locats thing bugs him and she keeps doing it on purpose...

Edited at 2011-04-01 02:44 pm (UTC)
The depressed optimist: HANDPUPPETS crazylizparker6 on April 3rd, 2011 09:24 am (UTC)
LOVED-EVERY-SINGLE-LINE. Best smut eve'.:D
Clair de Lune: pb - sara3clair_de_lune on April 3rd, 2011 10:36 am (UTC)
Thank you *g*
I'm afraid it's all in the dirty implications :-p It's up to you wheter Sara just wants to gross out/freak out Lincoln or she indeed has some of those "stylish and stylized olisbos", and on whom and in what ways Michael would use the steel one...