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05 April 2009 @ 01:30 pm
Prison Break - Knowing Better  
Title: Knowing Better
Author: clair_de_lune
Characters: Sara/Michael
Category: Het
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~ 385
Disclaimer: Not mine. Just borrowing them for a while.
Summary: She’s been there, done that and knows better. But... (Season 1)
Author’s Note: Written for April’s Fool mini-round at rounds_of_kink. Prompts: forbidden pleasures, mug’s game. Don’t let the prompts fool you, though, it’s probably more angsty than kinky.
Beta: Many thanks to torigates.


She’s not aroused because the very thought is forbidden, nor is she turned on because of the obvious, mandatory interdict. She doesn’t get off on the notion that it’s – that he is – off limits or, even more so, than she is off limits for him.

She used to revel in such moving sands. She got caught quite a few times and was deep enough in it to actually, foolishly enjoy it. It’s not the case anymore, and she certainly hopes it won’t happen again. She’s been there, done that and knows better.

But...

Some days, it’s just impossible to discard the fact that she’s supposed to touch him. It’s a pregnant part of her task, and she takes pride in doing it correctly, thoroughly, decently. Personal morality and professional ethics are sufficient to prevent her from doing anything that isn’t strictly necessary, but not enough to keep her from enjoying the contact. Contacts, plural: human contact, eye contact, skin contact. Check his throat, check his heart, breathe in his scent. Albeit a rather thin one, stethoscope and latex gloves are an armor. As long as she keeps her literal and metaphorical lab coat on, it’s okay.

Some evenings, it clings to her and refuses to leave her alone. She doesn’t really mind. She knows she must distance herself from her job, knows how to do it and is aware it’s not always entirely possible. As long as it doesn’t become disproportionate – and she’s not there yet – it’s okay.

Some nights, it’s not so okay anymore though. On those nights, she wakes up drenched – she won’t linger on the specifics – and almost feverish, roused from some dream by her thumping heartbeats and ragged breathing. She resorts to the pretext that she’s half asleep, still half dreaming, to roll onto her back and arch up under her own touch. She doesn’t even bother keeping at bay memories of soft, whispered voice and sensations of incidental brushes of hands. She thrives in them and lets them wash over her.

It would be a mug’s game anyway, to want to control and restrain her sleeping self, the one who mockingly overlooks that she’s been there, done that and knows better. Actually, maybe it’s not so much about forbiddance, interdicts, taboos and finding release. Maybe it’s a lot worse than that.

* *

Comments are always appreciated and cherished ;)
April 4, 2009
 
 
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
 
 
 
Rosie: Michael/Sara greenrosie_spleen on April 5th, 2009 12:10 pm (UTC)
Hey madam.

I just flipped onto the friendly page and found this? VERY nice. Subtle, but hawt. You know what I found really interesting?

This:

It’s a pregnant part of her task, and she takes pride in doing it correctly, thoroughly, decently.

I LOVE how you've used 'pregnant' here - so easily. It fits perfectly, but really captured my attention. Great.

The first paragraph rocks my socks off hon (and it's cold here) and the last two paras are awesome.

Thanks for this. Hope you're doing well x


Clair de Lune: pb - michael sara 2clair_de_lune on April 7th, 2009 05:14 pm (UTC)
Hola!

I just can't think of Sara being more explicit, not at this point of the show/relationship anyway, and I tried to keep it as understated as possible while still having a hint of... PG-13 rated-ness. So, "Subtle, but hawt"? Me likes your description. And I'm glad you approve of the word choice - looks like it's time to play the non-native speaker card not always sure to pick the right word.

I'm doing fine. I'm reading a fangirls tale in which a character freaks out a bit when answering feedback on her writing and I totally can relate to her right now, but otherwise, I'm doing fine ^_^

Thank you for commenting, Rosie, and I hope those socks of yours are warm I'm glad you enjoyed the ficlet.
(Deleted comment)
Clair de Lune: pb - sara2clair_de_lune on April 7th, 2009 05:15 pm (UTC)
Hey there!

Your writing flows so well

I wrote that one in about half an hour: how is it that fics written in haste just... work, and that I have to edit and others indefinitely? Life's not fair.
Um, what I actually meant was, thanks a lot ;)

It's like Sara's trapped, because her feelings are so overwhelming she doesn't know how to handle them.

Indeed. Apparently, she thinks she can do it but, ultimately, still gets caught.

Thank you for the nice feedback :)
i want this to last forever: M/S-What do you Want from Melinzi20 on April 5th, 2009 04:00 pm (UTC)
It must have been agonizing for Sara to see Michael every day, to touch him, to talk to him and not be able to do anything about it. After months of "forplay" can you imagine what she must have felt during the kiss in The Key? Thanks for revisiting that time in the infirmary. *loves*

Lovely job here, hon. Great description, as as Rosie says, it's sublte but very powerful. Her desire and need for him (sexually if nothing else) is fab!
Clair de Lune: pb - michael saraclair_de_lune on April 7th, 2009 05:16 pm (UTC)
I liked those scenes in the infirmary so much. I shouldn't get started with S1 or I'm going to whine again, but I miss it a lot and was happy to write a little something set back then.

I'm delighted you enjoyed the tone of the story, and thanks a lot for your comment! :)
Maz (or foxxy!): Stethoscopetuesdaeschild on April 5th, 2009 05:20 pm (UTC)
I used to love their little exchanges in the infirmary so to revisit them there was a real treat!

How hard must it have been for Sara to refrain from throwing him down on a gurney and ravishing him? :)

And yet this was all very subtle and restrained which made it all the hotter!

See? I do like me some het sometimes! :)

*hugs*

Edited at 2009-04-05 05:20 pm (UTC)
Clair de Lune: pb - michael saraclair_de_lune on April 7th, 2009 05:17 pm (UTC)
See? I do like me some het sometimes! :)

I know you do, sweetie, especially if Michael's involved *g*

How hard must it have been for Sara to refrain from throwing him down on a gurney and ravishing him? :)

No 'ravishing' was involved, but my first R-rated fanfic ever - Misstep - was Michael/Sara infirmary sex. I think you read it back then *checks* yup, you read and commented on Michael's POV.

I'm so glad you enjoyed it and liked the tone. I save the awfully graphic for slash stories, apparently :-p

Thanks a lot, Foxy.
Maz (or foxxy!): Sara Michaeltuesdaeschild on April 8th, 2009 11:26 am (UTC)
especially if Michael's involved *g*

I must have mentioned it once or twice then? *g*

I think you read it back then *checks* yup, you read and commented on Michael's POV.

I've just found it in your memories and I wonder why I didn't comment on the original? I will put that right once I don't have to run off to work. *sighs deeply*

I save the awfully graphic for slash stories, apparently :-p

It seems you do...but it doesn't have to be graphic to be hot!! :)

You're welcome, darling.



Edited at 2009-04-08 11:27 am (UTC)
Clair de Lune: pb - michael3clair_de_lune on April 9th, 2009 06:09 pm (UTC)
You gave a couple of hints every now and then. But it's good to have a good grasp of what you like (OK, I'm trying to guess if there is a double entendre here: if there is, it's not on purpose, I swear) and it's totally to your credit to hold your stance *g*
Maz (or foxxy!): Kind of prettytuesdaeschild on April 13th, 2009 01:09 pm (UTC)
Ah, so I have dropped the occasional hint?!!

(OK, I'm trying to guess if there is a double entendre here: if there is, it's not on purpose, I swear)

Hehe!! There is a double entendre there if you have a smutty mind like mine!! *g*

For me Michael is the centre of the PB Universe and all others are satellites orbiting the beautiful sun!! But I do love it when some of the satellites' orbits come so close to the shining star that there is actual contact!! I can't help myself!!

Hope you've had a great Easter, sweetheart.
*hugs*
happy is as happy does: Michael & Sara S4 kiss - Prison Breakhappywriter06 on April 5th, 2009 07:01 pm (UTC)
Completely and utterly believable. I love the way it flows.

Maybe it’s a lot worse than that.
It definitely is.
Clair de Lune: origami - canardclair_de_lune on April 7th, 2009 05:18 pm (UTC)
It definitely is.

*nods* All things considered, merely fancying the 'forbidden pleasures' part would have saved her some trouble. Not as fun interesting for us though, obviously.

Thank you for reading and commenting :-)
(Deleted comment)
Clair de Lune: origami - canardclair_de_lune on April 7th, 2009 05:18 pm (UTC)
I'm happy you liked it. Thank so much for your kind words *blushes*
(Deleted comment)
Clair de Lune: pb - michaelclair_de_lune on April 8th, 2009 04:37 pm (UTC)
Thanks a lot for the nice comment. I'm glad you enjoyed this :)
(Anonymous) on April 17th, 2009 02:55 am (UTC)
secondavisione
Beautiful.

I’m just re-watching S1 and I really like the way you explore Sara’s feelings and thoughts. Very natural and real.

I'll be back for more! ;-)
Clair de Lune: pb - saraclair_de_lune on April 17th, 2009 07:08 pm (UTC)
Re: secondavisione
Thanks a lot for reading and commenting. I'm happy you liked this.

I'll be back for more! ;-)
By all means, suit yourself. I have a long list of PB fics *facepalm*

Edited at 2009-04-17 07:08 pm (UTC)